Blue Moons
by Amelia Wilde
Summary: Something - or maybe someone - is telling Campbell Saunders that he's still supposed to be here. Whatever it takes, right?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, author's note here! I decided to write a lil' sumthin' for all y'all Camaya fans, because for some reason my little Degrassi heart needs some future Camaya. This happens when Cam's twenty-two, and Maya is twenty-one. In this, Cam _does _attempt, but he attempts it a lot later, and it doesn't succeed. Mmkay, I hope y'all like this. And I'm sorry I'm such a fail at updating. I know it's a bit weird to bring Cam back, but I'll leave this quote here: "Writing does not resurrect; it buries." -John Green. Enjoy, you beauties! xxx**

* * *

A lot of people here keep asking me what my biggest regret is. I tell them that my attempt was my biggest regret, and it truly is, but they still keep prodding. I can't tell how the hell I'm supposed to feel. Why can't they just leave me alone? I'm twenty-two years old, I can take care of my own self. I'm not _sick_, or _wrong_, or _confused_. I'm broken. I'm stupid, I'm a dumbass, and I'm broken. Everyday I wake up in this goddamn white bed, they tell me it's going to be better, that I'll _heal_. That I'll learn how deal with my illness. Whatever.

My psychotherapist walks in with a notepad and a pen. _Every. Damn. Morning. _I try to put on a smile as he walks to a chair beside my bed.

"How are you this morning, Campbell?" He starts off with a sympathetic smile. I liked Dr. Jensen. He didn't stuff my face in a pile of bullshit, and he actually cared about me. My old psychotherapist quit about two months a go, and she was horrible and bitter. Jensen took her place and he's actually pretty good with everything.

"To be perfectly honest," I start. I look down to my hands. Jensen puts his pen down and gives me a curious expression. "Better than usual." I state. And it's perfectly true; Maya had sent a letter to Greenlake saying that she'd come visit today. They don't let visitors here too often, but Maya was able to charm her way to visiting me today.

"Maya's coming today." I say, smiling. Jensen jots a few things in his notepad before looking up at me.

"How is Maya?" He asks me with a smile, and this is starting to feel like a real conversation. I told Dr. Jensen about Maya and my suicide attempt, and it felt like he understood everything.

I smile at the image of Maya's happy face in my mind. "She's great. She's almost done with university. I'm so proud of her." My smile soon fades. "But sometimes I wonder why _I _get to have her." I look to Jensen writing on his papers. He gives me a look as if to say _continue_, and I do. "A pretty, smart, talented girl like Maya likes a suicidal freak like me. And I just don't understand."

"You're not a freak, Campbell." Jensen states.

"But sometimes I feel like I can never keep her safe, being here at Greenlake. I left my career to be here. I've been here a year and I'm hardly getting better. I'm a sick person. And I'm afraid of never recovering." I look back to my hands and fiddle with my thumbs.

"They said you'd get right back on the ice when you're done here, Cam. You're getting better faster than you know it, kid." Jensen states with a short laugh.

"Is that why I'm on suicide watch?" I mutter under my breath.

"You're not. Not anymore. I cleared that last week during our outside walk when you mentioned getting back on the ice." Jensen states. I remember that. He said something about hope curing me or something.

"Then why am I still here?" I ask flatly.

"Campbell, you have a little more than a case of depression that popping a few pills isn't going to fix. We need you here to get better. You deserve a life, kid. You know that."

I nod.

"So, tell me, did you have any dreams last night?" He asks. Another routine question.

I clench my jaw at the thought. "Yes."

"What did you dream about, Campbell?" He asks.

I am hesitant to respond. "My attempt. It, uh, it succeeded," I say. It was the usual. "I regret ever thinking suicide was the answer." I blurt out. I hadn't really opened up to him like that before. He quickly writes a few things on the pad.

"That's great to hear." He says, folding his hands and his wedding band catches the morning sunlight from the window.

"Did you ever feel like you don't deserve your wife?" I ask, gesturing to his wedding band. "If you don't mind answering." I say. Dr. Jensen had told me he had suffered from some severe clinical depression in his twenties, like me.

"Yes. I was afraid every moment that she would leave me. I wasn't as strong as you are, Campbell. You're a strong young man and you're getting better so fast. You'll be out of here before you know it." He says, twiddling his ring and smiling.

"I hope so. I want to go back home to Maya. She doesn't deserve being alone in our apartment." I say, imagining Maya sitting alone on our couch.

"So you two live together?" Jensen asks. I guess I haven't told him that before.

"Yeah, we got it in her third year of university. She was complaining about dorm girls... I guess we were ready, anyway. We've been together since she was in grade nine." I say.

"That's a long time." Jensen says.

"Well, I really love her." I say back.

"Darn right, ya do!" I hear Maya's voice and I look at the door where she stands in a knee-length white dress and flat shoes. Her blond waves fly wildly as she runs to my bed and she sets herself comfortably at my side. I give her a peck quickly on the lips and look back to Dr. Jensen, who, at this point, looks tremendously confused.

"Uh, Doctor Jensen, this is Maya. Maya, this is my psychotherapist." I say, gesturing accordingly. Maya extends her hand out and shakes Jensen's hand.

"You make Campbell very happy." Jensen tells her.

"Is that so?" Maya smirks and leans into me, and I put my arm around her waist.

"So Campbell, you're spending the day in the commons and outdoors, am I correct?" Jensen asks of our plans we'd made earlier as he gets up out of his chair. I nod. "It was nice meeting you, Maya." Jensen smiles at Maya.

"You too." Maya smiles back. And Jensen leaves. Maya kicks her legs up onto my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. "It's a good thing Greenlake doesn't look sad. This place looks like a resort, I'm jealous." She says giddily.

"Well it's not much of an escape." I say flatly.

"Cam..." Maya says quietly.

"Sorry, it just gets a little monotone after a while. I'm glad you're here." I say, and I lean in and kiss Maya on the lips and she pulls back and smiles.

"C'mon, get dressed, we have a breakfast to get to!" She says, excitedly, getting up from off of me.

"They don't give me much to wear. Just light wash jeans and boring white crew neck tees." I complain as I go through the small shelves of monotonous clothes above my bed.

"Then put them on and let's go!" Maya comes closer and shoves the clothes to me with a quirky smile. I smile at her and get dressed quickly in the washroom down the hall. I meet Maya back and take her hand as we go downstairs to the commons for breakfast or whatever. I've never been down in the commons before; and it's actually pretty cool, despite the fact of it being in a mental rehabilitation clinic.

Maya gets us simple breakfasts; toast and fruit. She looks up at me and breaks the silence between us.

"So how have you been?" Maya asks, trying hard not to prod.

I sigh. "This place sucks. I don't know how they expect us to get better when there's nothing to do."

Maya gives me a sarcastic look. "There is stuff to do, you just don't do it."

"Well I never feel like doing it, that's why I'm here in the first place. I want to leave and just come back to you at home." I say, thinking of the apartment I hardly moved in before my incident.

"I'm fine. Katie and Jake visit me sometimes and Tori's been coming over and spending nights. Tristan even came with his new boyfriend. I wish you could meet him. Everything's just about right, I just need you to try your hardest to get better. For us." Maya put her hand on mine and smiles at me sympathetically. I try to give her a smile back.

"Jensen says I'm getting better."

"That's because you _are_. Remember last time I came? You wanted no part of me." She says. And I do, that was three months or so a go. Back when I was still _insane_. I tried throwing a lamp at her, which she wasn't happy about. I didn't get her letters for a month.

"I'm really sorry, Maya." Is all I can say. _What the hell, Cam?_

"It's nothing. You're better, and that's all that matters." Maya says, finishing her meal and getting up to clear her place. I do the same, even though I'm not done.

After breakfast, we go outside to take a walk. We walk along the little pond, hand in hand, as Maya leans her head on my shoulder. We spend hours talking and walking and sitting. I'm way too lucky to have a girlfriend that visits me in a mental clinic. We go back inside and Ellie, one of Jensen's assistants, tells me that Jensen wanted us to go to his office for a session. So we do.

"Sit, please." Jensen says, gesturing to the compact couch against the wall. Maya takes my hand and pulls me to the over-stuffed red couch in his office. I sit and Maya scoots in closer to me and leans her head on my shoulder. Jensen smiles at us and crosses his legs. He isn't holding his papers or a pen or anything. "Campbell, do you know how long you've been here?" He starts.

"About a year..." I say.

"Campbell, it's time we start to let you go," Jensen says, with a trace of a smile creeping on his face. Maya lifts her head off my shoulder and looks at me, "You've been doing really well lately."

"'Go', like leave Greenlake?" I ask, leaning in.

Jensen smiles and lets out a hearty laugh. "Yes, Campbell!" He says. I smile and Maya looks at me, smiling toothily.

"So, like, when?" I ask excitedly.

"Today, we thought your girlfriend could help you?" Jensen gestures to Maya expectantly. She nods and her wavy hair bobs wildly. I get up and hug Jensen tightly and he pats my shoulder to break the hug.

"You'll still have to attend sessions at one of our Toronto branches, but you're no longer needed here. You're better." Jensen says, he smiles and we say our goodbyes. I end up having to do tons of paperwork for my leaving. Maya helps me gather the few belongings I have here and we leave in Maya's compact little Prius.

Back home, where I can be happy.

* * *

**You know what would make my day? A review from you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Glad everyone's enjoying this story! I'm really enjoying writing it. CAMAYA IS FOREVER MUAHAHAHAHA! Okay, anyway, here's Chapter 2 of Blue Moons. xxx**

* * *

"Did you ever even watch any of these?" I ask Maya, referring to the pre-recorded Leafs games Maya had saved for me. We've been here watching several old games for more than five hours. I (obviously) have been away from my team, and should probably watch the games I couldn't play. It'll take a while to get through a _year's _worth of hockey games. I start conditioning tomorrow for my rejoining of the team. I can't believe they still want me back.

"Of course not," Maya says, looking up at me. Her head rests on my lap as she fiddles on her phone, probably texting Tori or whatever. "I hate hockey, you know that," Maya spits again.

After about five more minutes of watching the game, Maya puts her phone in my face and on the screen is some news article. "You're all over the Internet right now," Maya says. I grab the phone and look closer at the article.

_SUICIDAL SAUNDERS IS BACK IN THE GAME_

_Campbell Saunders, suicidal hockey prodigy, is out of rehab and back for the Leafs. The twenty-two year-old athlete was seen outside of Greenlake Rehabilitation Clinic for Mental Patients with his girlfriend, Maya Matlin. Saunders is in the game again. Can he bring his game back or is it the end for the young star's career? _

Then it shows a blurry, grainy picture of Maya and me, hand in hand, walking out of Greenlake. How the _hell _did they even take this photo?

It rambles on about me after that, my attempt, my time at Greenlake, and a little about Maya. I wonder how they even got half this information. But I guess being let out of rehab and going back to a major hockey team might get me a lot of press, so I let it go.

"How do they get this information?" I ask Maya, handing back her phone.

She shrugs. "The press has its ways. Just ignore it, okay? It's nothing. You know what high school taught us. '_Whatever it takes'_, right?" She smiles brightly up at me.

I laugh and stroke her hair as I watch the rest of the game. Dallas has gotten better. I click the TV off and Maya's phone is the only light in the room. I get up, leaving Maya laying down on the couch. She looks up at me like a child; she looks just like she did in high school.

"Aw, c'mon Cam! It's only 11:30!" She whines, straightening herself and sitting up. "I don't want to go to bed." She falls back down on the couch, stuffing her face in a pillow in the process.

"You have class tomorrow," I say, grabbing her hand and pulling her up, "Get up."

She groans into the pillow and I pull her up to her feet. She holds out her arms like she wants to be carried. I grab her waist and throw her over my shoulder. She yells my name as she slaps my back, annoyed, but still laughing. I run to our bedroom and set her down on the bed, and I jump in the bed next to her, bouncing on the mattress.

"Hi," I say, smiling at her. Damn, have I missed being here with Maya. Her mouth touches mine, insistent. I don't refuse, but after a few seconds, I pull back. "Not now, Maya. You've got classes you can't miss. And I have conditioning, 'kay? We can do something when you're done; I'll probably be here when you get back," She looks down, shyly. I touch her hair and say, "Okay?" She nods and I kiss the top of her head. I wrap my arms around her waist, like I used to. And we fall asleep.

* * *

When I get up, Maya's gone. _Early classes_. I'm probably running late for my conditioning, so I get dressed in my usual gear: compression shirt and spandex shorts. I feel really stupid, to say the least. As I walk into the kitchen, I see a small white paper. Written in Maya's girlish penmanship is:

_Jensen called the house. I think it was important. _

_-Maya_

I guess I'm now planning on calling him after conditioning, which'll probably take around four hours. I eat some breakfast quickly and get in my old car, and head to the rink. At the rink, I'm greeted by some press creeper behind a trash bin taking pictures of me. I ignore it and walk inside.

What. The. Hell.

About forty people in suits run toward me in a stampede, holding notepads, microphones, and tape recorders. Some guy even has a legit camera taking video of me. I am unresponsive as I search for my trainer. A really large man steers the press out of the building, I'm guessing its the rink's security guard or something. Sean, my army-veteran trainer, finds me.

"Lookin'... uhm, good, Saunders! Guess this means you're _really _up for a challenge." Sean says. I _had _been trying to keep in shape, since I knew the team still wanted me, but still, I worked out pretty much every day at Greenlake. "I'm kidding, kid. You ready?" Sean slaps my back. I don't know why he called me kid, he's only seven or eight years older than me. I notice his short light brown hair is matted and wet, like he's already been out on the ice.

The conditioning was much easier than I expected, to be honest. Sean said that I can just start attending practices with the team, which I'm dreading. At least I'm back home, back with the old schedule. I decide to text Dallas and let him know when I'm going to practices.

_Hey Dallas, I'm coming to practice next week. See ya there? -Cam_

Surprisingly, he replies only minutes later.

_The Birdman makes a comeback! Glad to see little Cam coming back to us. The team's just weird without you. How about you call me when you get the chance or whatever? -M.D._

_Sure. See you sometime soon. -Cam_

I head home at around three in the afternoon. I enter our third floor apartment and see Maya doing schoolwork on the couch. I come up behind her and peck her cheek. She squirms and swats me away. "Ew, Cam! You smell like hockey!" She squeals.

I laugh. "Oh, sorry does this bother you?" I ask, still laughing, leaning in to kiss her cheek again. She squeals and gets up, but I can't help but notice a trace of a smile on her face. She points down the hallway, to the bathroom.

"Take a shower, seriously! Go, Saunders, to the shower!" Maya steers me away but I catch a kiss on her lips before I walk into the bathroom. This time, she doesn't refuse. I pull back and she laughs. "Now go." She says, quieter, but still smiling. I go into the shower and hear Maya still laughing from outside the bathroom door.

* * *

**Remember to review! Oh, also, for a really awesome Degrassi Instagram account, follow at "DegrassiFeelings"! I'll be updating sooner, I promise! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

I throw on grey sweatpants and a t-shirt and dry my hair with a towel. I remember Maya's note aboout Jensen calling about something important, and I walk out of the bathroom into the living room (or at least the small area we call 'the living room') where Maya still sits on the couch, her knees pulled to her chest, writing down numbers I can't understand. Math; she's always been good with stuff like that. The TV adds quiet noise.

"Hey, M, when did Jensen call?" I ask. She pauses before answering.

"Like, six-ish," She turns around to me.

"'Six-ish'?"

"Yeah, six a.m.,"

"Why were you even awake then?"

"I dunno, I couldn't sleep. I had class anyway." Maya turns back around to her work.

I walk to the kitchen counter and copy Jensen's number into my phone and call it. It rings shortly before he picks it up.

"Hi," I start.

"Campbell, you called! I called you this morning,"

"I know, sorry I wasn't there. I'm just really tired and all,"

"It's fine. Your girlfriend -Maya, was it?- answered. So you're back on the ice, I hear,"

"Yeah I'm officially a Leaf again, it's great, really."

"That's so good to hear, Campbell."

There's an awkward pause before I speak up again.

"So why'd you call?"

"I wanted to know if you could stop by our Toronto branch to make some sort of appointment schedule?" He says.

"Probably not," I start. "I have hockey booked up for the month, my calendar's full."

"Well, haven't you hit the ground running! That's wonderful, but you need to schedule appointments to make you full recovery."

"I know." I say, my voice sounding smaller than I thought.

"What about Maya, could she schedule anything for you?" _Maya? Why the hell does he need Maya, of all people?_

"Maya? Um, I think she pretty booked with university and her cello stuff, I'll see. How about I call you tomorrow?" I say, trying hard to make it like I brushed off that _Maya _comment.

"Great." He says. And hangs up.

I got to the couch where Maya sits, tapping her pencil on her book quietly. I jump on and lay with my feet on Maya's lap. She laughs and shoves my feet off. I sit up.

"What did he call about?" Maya asked, twirling her pencil with her fingers.

"Scheduling stuff with the Toronto branch." I say.

"And...?" Maya gestures.

"And, I said I was booked with hockey. Which I am." I say.

"Yeah, Cam, two days a week _sure _is tiring hard work. How could you _possibly _take time to schedule appointments?" Maya says with a quirky smile.

I roll my eyes and put my feet up on the coffee table. "I just don't want to. I like being here." I say.

"Disinterest in activities, staying home a lot...sound familiar?" Maya says, stating the symptoms of depression; the long- endless -list that I've heard _many _times before.

"I meant I like being here _with you_." I say, leaning in and kissing her, but she pulls back shortly.

"I'm not here _all the time_. I have classes all week and I need to make time for cello and all of the-"

"_Maya_," I whine, hitting my head against the couch and turning to her. She turns to me.

"He asked if _you _would schedule, too. How creepy is that? I told him you were busy. I hope that's okay, I didn't think you'd want to deal with my problems right now, I'll tell him tomorrow that you-"

"Why would you think I don't want to help you?" Maya says, a little defesively.

"It's just that you're so much better than me, acing math and playing your cello with the _national freaking orchestra_! I just don't want you to get caught up in my mess right now. You're too good for me, Maya." I say.

"Says the NHL star! Cam, you just need to believe in yourself. Have a little faith. And we can still _do _stuff. I'm not at TU _all _the time." She leans in close to me.

"_Do stuff? _Like...?" I start to kiss her, thinking I know what she meant by 'stuff', but she pulls away with a devilish smile.

"Not now, Mister 'I'm-too-tired-I-want-to-go-to-bed'. You said you'd catch up on sleep."

"You're really going to make me go to bed right now?" I say.

"Hey, you're the one who's tired at six o'clock." She says.

"Won't you at least, like, come with me?" I ask. _A try wouldn't hurt._

"If you promise to actually fall asleep this time." She says.

I roll my eyes. "Fine," I say. "as long as I get your company."

Laying in bed, I try to wrap my arms around her waist, or kiss her cheek, or do _something _that'll spark _something_. Nothing. She refuses, gently, at least, and just faces me, her blue eyes piercing mine, making it really hard to fall asleep.

"I came back," I say.

"Came back...?" Maya repeats.

"I'm not at Greenlake anymore. I'm not sick anymore."

"I know."

"Then why won't you...you know..."

"Why won't I have _sex _with you?" Maya says, raising her voice. "What, did you think that now that you're back, that we can just _do that_? Cam, you know better than to mess with me like that. You know I'm not comfortable with it."

"Maya..." I say, unsure of what to say next.

"Cam. Wake up! I've told you _so many _times that you can't just forget everything and play me like that. You know how I feel about sex. You're the only person I can trust with my body, and you just play me like that. I'm not a doll, Cam." She says, loud and certain, and she walks out of the room.

"Maya! Maya, I-I'm sorry! Maya!" I call down the hallway. But she doesn't answer.

* * *

I wake up without Maya next to me. I figure she just slept on the couch or something but she's not even here. Not even a note on the kitchen counter. I call her cell nearly forty times, and each are unanswered.

I don't have conditioning or practice or any plans, really. At least not for myself. Maya and I had planned for today to be the day that we get our Christmas tree and walk down the Queen Street shops for our Christmas stuff. But I guess not today.

I go out, because I have nothing else better to do. I walk down Queen Street and stop at Degrassi, the place I met Maya. Tristan is a student teacher here, now. I don't think he ever had plans of making it as a teacher, but it's probably just for the learning or whatever. I almost go in, but remember the 'No Strangers' policy and I stay outside instead.

I see Tristan emerge from the front doors, amid many students. He spots me and runs to me and embraces me.

"Cheesy! When did you...?" He starts.

"Come back? I got a few days a go... Maya never told you?" I say.

"Nope. Well, anyway, the kids at Degrassi are getting crazier by the second. I hope I wasn't ever _that _annoying." Tristan jerks his head sideways, gesturing to a group of three boys and one girl, all of them dressed in black or dark red. They start taking off the letters on the Degrassi welcome/reminders board outside the doors.

"Tristan..." I start. I don't think he sees the kids.

"What?" He turns and sees them and sighs heavily, swearing undey his breath. "Daniel, Spencer, get off the sign!" He shouts at the two boys, who then jump off the sign and glare at him. The girl and another boy still mess with the letters on the sign. "Erik, Jade, do I need to tell Mr. Simpson about your behaviour again?" He yells. They stop and roll their eyes, walking back inside the school.

"I have to deal with this _every day_. Ugh, at least not the weekends. Thank God; I can't deal with these kids sometimes." I laugh at his over-exaggerated frustration as he takes a bite of his sandwich. A kid, probably grade ten, with big glasses and an over-sized coat, walks up to our table with a pen and paper.

"You're Cam Saunders, aren't you?" He asks with an amused smile.

"The one and only." I say. I don't know if I've ever been recognized by a _kid _before.

"Could I get your autograph?" He asks. I nod, and he sets the pen and paper down on the table, bringing the sleeves of his jacket up, revealing cuts and scars on his wrists. He quickly pulls them back down, like he's afraid that I saw them.

"Who do I make this out to?" I ask.

"Carter." He says.

And I write:

_Hey, Carter. You're a cool dude. Don't let anyone else's words change that.  
Trust me, I'd know._

_Campbell Saunders #67_

I hand the pen and paper back to him and he reads it and leaves with a small smile.

"So how about this weekend we all go out, do something together? You, me, Maya, Tor. Ooh! I could bring Desmond, my boyfriend. You'd love him, he's such a sports nerd, he's totally-"

I interrupt him. "That's the thing," I say. "I don't know where Maya is."

"You don't know where Maya is? Cam, you _live _with her, how do you not know where she is?" Tristan shouts.

"Jeez, Milligan! Not so loud." I say.

"Sorry. You were saying..."

"We had a fight last night. I thought she was just going to sleep on the couch, but when I woke up, she wasn't there. I called her, but she never answered." I say.

"Well did you call Tori?" He asks.

"No, why would I call- oh, wait. Okay I'll call Tori." Maybe Maya crashed at Tori's for the night or something. I call and wait for an answer. Nothing.

"Nothing?" Tristan asks, seeming surprised.

"Nothing." I confirm. If she's not at Tori's, then where the hell is she?

"Look, maybe she was just busy, we can stop by after school. Cam, just, don't freak out, okay?" He says. A bell rings, announcing the end of this lunch period. "I gotta go. Tell me when you find her, okay?"

I nod and get up. I think that maybe if Maya didn't go to Tori's, she went to Katie and Jake's place.

I end up taking a taxi to their house, because I'm defiitely not walking the fifteen miles there. I walk up to the doorstep and ring the doorbell. Jake comes and answers the door. He greets me with a dopey smile.

"Saunders, it's good to see you back!" He shouts; the neighbours can probably hear. I shrug. "Come in, kid." I walk in and their house is surprisingly very neat. "So, what brings you to the Martin abode?"

"Well, I don't know where Maya is, and I thought she may have crashed here." I say.

"Maya's not here, sorry. How do you just _misplace _your girlfriend anyway?" Jake says jokingly.

"We had a fight. Couldn't find her this morning and she's not answering my calls. I just don't-"

Katie walks down the stairs in pajamas and messy hair like she just woke up. It's past noon.

"Cam," Katie says, yawning. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Maya, who is _obviously _not here. I'm going to go now. Goodbye." As I walk to the door, Jake stops me. "What?" I say.

"Wait." Jake says, quietly. He gestures to Katie. "You need to feel the wrath of my wife now. Sorry, kid." Jake walks out of the room and Katie walks down the stairs and stands in front of me, her arms crossed.

"What did you do to Maya?" Katie hisses.

"I didn't _do _anything to her, we just had a fight and I can't find her now." I say.

"Maya's a fragile little thing. Treat her wrong, and she breaks, 'kay?" Katie says.

I nod and walk out the door.

If she isn't anywhere to be seen and won't answer my calls, there's a serious question at hand. _Where the hell is Maya Matlin?_

* * *

**Don't forget to review, review, review! Love you!**

**Hey! That rhymed!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks soooo much for all the fabulous feedback on this story! I'm trying hard to update, I promise! Life is a little hectic with exams all week. I hope y'all are having an amazing week, and enjoy Chapter 4 of "Blue Moons"! xxx**

* * *

I call a taxi to bring me back to Queen Street, where Tristan said he'd meet me. Moments after I seat myself in the cab, I get a call. _Maya Matlin_. I answer it frantically.

"Maya! Where have you been, I've spent-" I hear her sobbing. "Maya? Are you... are you crying?"

"Can you meet me at Queen Street, Cam? Please, Cam, I..." She rambles off, speaking far too rapidly for me to understand through rugged breaths from her crying.

"Slow down," I say.

"Yes, sir," the cab driver says with a Hispanic accent.

"No, not you," I tell him.

"What?" Maya gasps on the other line.

"Maya, hold on, please," I say, frustrated.

"Bring me to Queen Street. I need to meet someone on Queen Street." I lean forward to speak to the small Mexican man driving. He nods. I sigh and bring my phone back up to my ear.

"Maya, what were you saying?" I say. No response. "Maya?" I repeat. "Maya? Is everything okay?" I hear low male voices throbbing in the background. The phone hangs up. "Oh my God." is all I can muster.

* * *

"Tristan!" I call, waving him over. He seems confused and runs down the Degrassi steps and to me.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, sounding alarmed.

"Maya called me." I say.

"So she's okay? Is she home?" he asks. I shake my head. "Then what? Cam, tell me what happened." he says, quite sternly, actually.

"She was crying and she sounded _terrified_ and then I heard...I heard two dudes in the background. And then it hung up. I have no clue where she is, Tristan. Help me."

"Did you go to her parents?"

I shake my head. "There's no way she could have gotten there so quick. I went to Katie and Jake's, they hadn't seen her. What if someone took her?"

"Cam, you're thinking of the worst. She probably just got lost. Just go home, I'm sure she'll be there soon." Tristan assures me. I nod and we part. I go to the bus stop and call Dallas to come pick me up. He interrogates me over the phone, but I don't want to really talk about it over the phone, or in a publice place; you never know where the press creeps are hiding.

About ten minutes later, Dallas pulls up in his car. I get in and he immediately starts with the questions.

"So little Saunders calls me out of the blue to pick him up from Degrassi and I don't get a single word of explanation?" Dallas starts.

"Sorry, I just don't want to go home right now," I say. I really don't; I know that Maya won't be there and I can't stand spending time alone any more.

"You just got back, and now you don't want to be home? Fight with the little blondie?" Dallas jokes.

"Yeah, that's the thing," I say.

"Oh," Dallas says, "well, you're always welcome to stay with the Furious Pregnant Alli and me. Fighting with your girl is hard, I know it, Birdman. She'll come running back in no time. But for now, a change of scenery at the Dallas household could do you some good."

"Alli's pregnant?" I ask. It's news to me.

"Oh, yeah," Dallas smirks. "You didn't know that?"

"No, I've been a little out of touch with the latest buzz." I say.

"Don't worry, life will get back to normal before you know it."

"I don't know if it was ever normal before." I say under my breath.

"Jeez, kid, you're really harshing my mellow." Dallas says, turning into a nice-looking neighbourhood.

"Sorry. It's just not knowing where my girlfriend is kind of sucks."

"Just forget about it for a while," he says.

"But what if something hap-"

"I said don't worry," Dallas says, pulling into the garage of a large brown house. "We're here."

We get out and go into the house. Alli stands in the kitchen with her arms folded across her chest. She's definitely pregnant. She looks angrily at Dallas.

"Where were you?" Alli asks Dallas.

"Picking up Cam, he needed to come here." he says.

"_Needed _to come here? You couldn't have run it by me first?" Alli asks. I guess she's the moody pregnant.

"You were asleep when I left, I didn't think I needed to!" Dallas says, raising his voice a little. Now I feel awkward, witnessing a married couples' fight. Alli starts crying. Dallas sighs and walks to Alli, taking her in an embrace and kissing the top of her head. I realize how much taller Dallas is than Alli. They part and Alli looks up at him and smiles as she wipes her tears from her face. They share gentle whispers of words I cannot understand. I wish Maya and I could resolve our fights that easily; just an embrace and a few gentle words. Dallas walks back to me.

"Me and little Cam are going to have a little bit of a guy's night; is that fine?" Dallas asks her.

Alli nods and smiles. "Yeah. I was going to go to Clare's in a second, anyway. Have fun, you two." she says, picking up a bag and car keys. Alli leaves and Dallas says an excited _yes. _I laugh at his excitement. _Quite _the interesting father, he would be.

"So what exactly does this '_guys' night_' mean around here, Dallas?" I ask him. I've decided to forget about the shit in my life right now, and forget the fact that I have not the slightest idea as to Maya's whereabouts. Dallas isn't all that bad.

"Whatever you want it to be, Birdman. I want to enjoy my one month freedom while it lasts, before there's a little Dallas kid running across these floors." he says, plopping himself onto the overstuffed couch in his living room.

"So, do you know what it is yet? The kid, I mean." I ask.

"Nah, Alli insisted we wait 'til it's born to find out. But let's forget the women; tonight is the night for men. We can drink beers and watch football or whatever." Dallas says. I laugh.

As nice as it is to try and forget everything, I can't stop thinking about Maya.

* * *

**Be sure to leave a review for me! That'd make my day! Tell me what you want more of in this story and I'll try putting that in for you. I want this to be an amazing story for you guys, so REVIEW! AND THANK YOU, MY BEAUTIES! xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ah, the excitement is never over for Campbell and Maya... Here's chap 5! xxx**

* * *

A light flashes in my face and my phone starts to ring loudly. I wake, and my eyes flutter open at the phone in my face. Katie Martin is calling my phone. I see that it is three in the morning and I'm on Mike Dallas's living room couch; my girlfriend's sister is calling me, and I realize that I should probably wake up and answer the phone. I'm not sure how sharp my judgement is right now, seeing the several empty cans of beer laying around the room.

"Katie, it's three in the morning, what could you possibly need from me right now?" I start, irritated. Why is she even awake, anyway?

"_Someone_ couldn't get a hold of you and needed you." Katie states. She sounds equally annoyed.

"What?" I ask.

Katie sighs loudly and the phone thumps a little. "Hello?" Maya's small voice murmurs.

"Maya..." I say. What is Maya doing on Katie's phone and why the hell does she sound so damn scared?

"Cam, can you come over here?" Maya asks weakly.

"Maya? Where are you? Why aren't you at home? It's three a.m., what are you two doing awake?" I question. I hear Maya start to cry quietly.

"She's with Jake and me. Please, just come before Maya breaks down again." Katie sighs. I hear her whisper hardly-audible words of reassurance to Maya before the phone hangs up. I decide it's definitely the right idea to go get Maya and see what's wrong; she sounded terrified. I get off the couch and wake Dallas, who lay on a chair across the room, snoring.

"Dallas, get up," I shake his shoulder. He stirs before rubbing his eyes and waking. "I'm going to get Maya. She needs me or something." I tell him. He nods to show he is listening.

"Good luck, little Saunders. Don't mess shit up, again." Dallas mutters as I walk out the door. I realize I have no transportation, so I call a cab. I'm surprised they're even available this early in the morning.

I sit on Dallas's porch and wait for the cab and text Tristan to assure him that Maya is okay, or at least safe. The yellow car pulls up to the house and I get in and tell the driver the Martin's address. On the way to their home, I think about Maya. I want to know what- or who -those voices were in the phone call, what Maya was doing, and where the hell she went after the yelling and fighting. After a good ten minutes of thinking and analyzing, we arrive at the Martin house. I pay the driver and get out, practically sprinting to the front door.

Jake opens the door before I even get to it. He does not speak as I pass him into their living room. Maya and Katie sit on the couch, Katie leaning protectively over Maya as she shakes and sobs quietly. Panic rushes over me; not knowing what's wrong with my girlfriend really freaks me out. Katie turns to me and scowls slightly before getting up and meeting Jake in the kitchen. I rush to Maya's side, holding her small, shaking body. She cries into my shoulder for a few minutes before I speak up.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I ask her quietly. I'm not very good at the whole 'calming people down' thing, but I suppose speaking quietly is the best I can do right now.

"I went to my parents'," Maya starts. She chokes on her sobs, her words choppy.

"Why?" I question.

"I hadn't seen them in a while," she sobs, "and I figured you didn't want me at home anyway, so I thought I should just-"

"Maya, why would you think that?" I ask. I feel a little insulted at her words, but I probably deserve it. She sits up and wipes her tears.

"It's just that I yelled at you, and I felt really bad. Cam, I-I'm really sorry." Maya falls into my shoulder again and clings her arms around my neck. Now I feel _really _bad, it was me who wronged, I didn't respect her, or her body, really. I'm a selfish asshole. I honestly don't deserve Maya.

"Maya, I'm an ass. I should've listened to you. Please don't be sorry, you didn't do anything wrong," I start to cry a little. "Just tell me what happened." I try to say it steadily.

"I was walking down Main and these guys jumped me and took my stuff, and then-" she chokes on a sob, "and then.." Maya struggles to finish.

"And then what? M, you need to talk to me." I say, trying to hold onto my sanity.

"Then one of them tried to-" she sobs, "one of them tried to _touch _me."

I clench my jaw to try to keep from screaming out loud.

Maya tries to continue. "But they thought they heard the police and they left." She breaks down and cries loudly, slouching into my shoulder. I honestly don't want to deal with a problem like this _here_, in someone else's home.

"I think we should go home, now." I try to stay stable. Maya nods and I help her up. I keep an arm around her waist, knowing she'll fall at any moment. Jake gives me the keys to his truck; he knows I have no transportation.

The ride home is silent, for the most part. I don't want to trigger Maya at this time of day, I want to let her sleep. We can talk tomorrow, because frankly, I don't think either of us are in the mental stability to deal with a problem of this magnitude.

We go to bed in silence, and I try to keep an arm around her to let her know I'm here, but I still hear her cry through the night.

* * *

**Don't forget to review! xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**I've found time to write so I wrote this chapter in a wordsprint (nanowrimo-ers should know what that is) and I hope y'all love it as much as you love the other chapters! I have lots of craziness up my sleeve for this story and I'm getting really excited. Don't forget to leave a review down below! :) xxx**

* * *

Maya wakes up about an hour after I do, but I stay in bed with her the whole time, knowing she'll be scared if she wakes up alone, but honestly, I think I'd be more scared of being left again.

"Hey, beautiful. That's some really lovely hair you're rocking this fine morning." I tease, laughing at her ridiculously crazed blond mess on her head. She chuckles weakly. "How're you doing?" I ask.

"Fine," she replies, not even making eye contact with me.

I raise an eyebrow. "Maya, seriously. Are you okay?" I ask. It would usually be a strange question for us, but given last night's situation, it's the least I can address.

Maya looks at me with a sad expression, and starts crying. I bring her in with my arm and she cries into my shoulder for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping her tears. "I'm sorry, Cam. I shouldn't be crying."

"Hey," I say, "you have reasons. Do you want to talk about it?"

She shakes her head. As much as it hurts me to see the girl cry, I wish she would talk more about it so I could do something to fix it. In my mind, I consider taking the issue to the police, but I realize the wasted time and money on a criminal that can't be caught isn't necessarily helpful. But it still feels wrong to leave the problem untouched like this. So all I can do is hold Maya so she doesn't crumble apart.

"We should do something today." I state, trying to change the subject. It's Saturday, so Maya doesn't have any scheduled classes and practice is postponed till tomorrow, because everyone on the team is practically snowed in today.

"Like what?" Maya questions eagerly, like she's glad I've changed the subject.

"Well, weren't we going to go get Christmas junk a couple of days ago on Queen Street?" I say. We _had _planned to get a small fake tree and other decorative items to celebrate our first Christmas in our _own _home, even if it is in a measly apartment in Toronto. But our plans were terminated by the incident.

Maya laughs. "Christmas junk, huh? You make that sound really fun." she says.

"You know what I mean," I laugh, "Does it sound like a plan?"

Maya nods her head. "I'm glad I have you," Maya says. That was out of the blue.

"Me too," I say, kissing the top of her head, "Life would really suck without you and your pretty face." I say. Maya laughs. "Now get dressed, it's already ten!" I tell her, getting up and pulling her out of bed.

* * *

"What about this one?" Maya says, pointing to a sparkly pink tinsel tree in the window of yet another girly boutique on Queen Street. It is decorated with ornaments that look like shoes and purses and lipstick. I raise an eyebrow at her ridiculous suggestion. "Kidding," she says, laughing to herself.

We've been looking at every little shop in the area for two hours and haven't found anything aside from a creepy snowman figurine and stocking with our names on them and a few tree ornaments. I would easily be convinced to get a _real _tree from the farm up by Maya's parents' house, but given the fact that we already struggle with the cozy size of the apartment, I decide it's probably best to get a small fake one to suit our living area. I told Maya she can choose a tree, as long as it's not ridiculously girly and/or glittery.

We pass a shop window with a small, green tree adorned with ornaments resembling cartoon characters, and Maya stops in her tracks and squeals at the sight.

"Cam! Isn't it cute? We _have _to get it, we just _have _to." Maya says. I roll my eyes; the tree is really corny, but I guess that is expected when Maya selects it.

"Isn't it a little cheesy?" I complain.

"Hey, you're one to talk, _Cheesy_!" she says, bringing up the horrendous nickname she gave me in high school.

"Oh my God, Maya, you're really bringing that one up now?" I roll my eyes again. She laughs mischievously before pulling me into the store with the tree. I let her drag me around as she looks at garish decorations around the shop. She stops to stare at the tree we saw from the window.

"Hi, can I help you with anything?" A voice asks from behind us. We turn around and a kid, probably fifteen stands before us. I recognize him as the boy from Degrassi a few days ago. I look at his name tag. _Carter_. That was it. The boy with the scars on his wrists. "Hey, you're Campbell Saunders!" Carter says, smiling a little.

"Yeah, you're the kid with the sc- the kid from Degrassi," I say, hoping I covered that well enough.

He nods with a smile. "So, are you looking for anything in particular today?" he asks.

Maya looks at me and smiles giddily. "This tree," she says to Carter, pointing at the tree.

* * *

So putting a fake Christmas tree together is a pain in the ass. Katie needed Maya for something this afternoon, so Maya's been over there for a a couple hours and I'm left here with the extraordinarily difficult task of assembling this freaking tree and its ridiculous ornaments.

"I'm home!" Maya shouts happily as she bursts through the door, stretching out the word _home_.

"And I'm struggling!" I shout back, starting to get really frustrated with the damn tree.

"What?" Maya asks, giggling. I get up and smile.

"Nothing," I say, "Why so happy?" I ask, and I can't help but smile at her overall cuteness when she's especially happy.

"I have news," Maya says, sitting down on the chair in the living room.

"Yeah?" I ask, going over to the couch and facing her.

"Katie's pregnant!" Maya yells excitedly.

I raise an eyebrow in surprise. "I guess that explains her _extra _frustration toward me lately," I say.

"Again, what?" Maya laughs with a confused expression.

"Nothing," I say.

"Well, in that case, we have a whole lot happening right now, so let's just be happy that everything's back to normal, 'kay?" Maya says. She's handling everything better than me, and I still don't know if that's a good thing or not. Either way, we're better off forgetting the flaws in our life and we can try to hold this normal life we dream of.

* * *

**I love you all! The feedback on this story is AMAZING! Keep those reviews comin', they really motivate me to post more! :) xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

Sean called me in this morning for a little bit of conditioning before he goes off for winter break tomorrow. It was kind of weird to have him call me, but he said it'd be more like two friends at the gym, so it's cool, I guess. Sean and I have become pretty good friends since I came back, and it's nice because I don't have a lot of guy friends to talk to, anyway. I get there from the public bus, which was gross, but Maya had taken the car to Katie's for the day. I make a mental note about maybe getting another car soon.

We spend the majority of the day at the gym, and I see that outside it's snowing like crazy. I sigh.

Sean looks at me curiously. "Everything alright?" he inquires.

I shake my head. "I promised Maya I'd go to the clinic today to schedule some stuff, but it's a blizzard out there and Maya has the car."

Sean laughs. "How'd you even get here, then?"

"Took the bus." I sigh.

Sean raises an eyebrow at me. "I could get you to where you need to be. What clinic?"

"Greenlake. It's not too far from here." I say.

Sean's face lights up.

"What?" I ask, trying not to laugh at his wild expression.

"My fiancée works there!" he smiles, "You ever meet Ellie Nash?" he asks.

"She was my psychotherapist's assistant. She's one from the small handful of employees there that _don't _irritate me." I say.

Sean laughs. "Get your shit together and I'll take you." Sean punches my shoulder and I gather my bag.

I get in Sean's car and text Maya as we head to Greenlake.

_I'll be home at around five. Be there for dinner? -Cam_

She replies a few minutes after.

_Yeah. See your smelly hockey butt at home. -M_

I laugh.

"How long have you and Ellie been engaged?" I ask.

"About two years. It's hard to fit a wedding in our schedule with all my work at the base lately. But yeah, about two years now." Sean says, smiling.

"How did you two meet?"

"High school. We both went to Degrassi, that school by Queen Street."

"Degrassi, eh?" I comment.

"You know the place?"

"Went there from grade ten! That's how I met Maya." I say.

Sean looks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You've been talking about that girl nonstop today." he says.

"Maya? She's my girlfriend, what can I say? She means the world to me and I almost lost her." I say.

"When are you going to put a ring on that girl? Haven't you been together for like, ever?"

I laugh awkwardly. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it." I say. I definitely have dreamt about marrying Maya Matlin, but I don't know if it's exactly a good idea right now with everything that's happening.

"So what are you waiting for? If you like it, put a ring on it!" Sean says excitedly, laughing at his own joke.

"Of all people, I wouldn't have thought you would be the one to quote Beyoncé." I laugh.

"Seriously, though," Sean says, "If she's the one, why haven't you made the move?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"What, you're 'taking it slow' or whatever?" Sean says. That was the plan; for Maya and me to "take it slow", but we kind of broke the rules about a year and a half ago when we "celebrated" my successful hockey season and Maya's admission into the Ontario Philharmonic. It was a complicated affair, but we knew we loved each other to death, and I knew in my mind that I wanted to marry her some day. Then I attempted suicide and everything changed, and I thought I would go back to a lonely apartment without my Maya, and things started up slowly again.

I shake my head. "I honestly have no idea. Now would definitely not be the time, though. I just got back from Greenlake, she just got back from some crazy runaway stunt, her sister is pregnant, plus, Christmas is coming up and I still haven't convinced Maya to spend it with my family back in Kapuskasing. Life kinda sucks sometimes without my own family." I say.

"I know the feeling, man. I left Ellie for quite a while when I was deployed," Sean shakes his head. "It stung. For both of us. I was away from all the people I loved... it hurt. But it gets better, bro. Don't let it get you down." Sean turns into Greenlake.

Once inside, I go to the reception desk and ask for Jensen. Sean tells me he's going to go say hi to Ellie, and I follow him, knowing Jensen is usually busy with other people and I'm usually left here waiting for a while. So Sean and I find Ellie's office. We discover that Ellie was not in her office so Sean goes back to see if she's in the break room or whatever. I part to go to the restroom, and find my way there. I pass Jensen's office on the way. Through a slight crack in the blinds, I see something horrifying. All I can do is cover my mouth in shock and call for Sean, not knowing what to do.

* * *

**Ooh, a cliff-hanger! I know this is a shorter chapter, but I have my reasons. ;) So do you guys like Sean making a comeback in this story? If you didn't notice already, it's Sean Cameron, but I'm sure you've picked that up. I've always liked Sean, and I like it when older characters interact with new ones. I feel like Sean and Cam would click for some reason, so that's definitely not the last of Sean in here. Tell me if you like Sean here in your reviews, if you don't mind. **

**Remember, I'm always open to your guys' requests and feel welcome to leave a review down there! **

**Love, Amelia! xxx**


End file.
